Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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