my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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