I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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