You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
