If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
