I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His hands were made for my vagina.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
