i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
