dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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