That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
