you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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