he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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