I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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