I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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