i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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