So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
