The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
