Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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