Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we're making bets on your personal life
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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