he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
