Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
