i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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