This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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