I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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