Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
