Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
