omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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