Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
