he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
