I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
