Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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