Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
