i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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