Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Vodka?
Forever.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
