She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
