I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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