i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
