I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
