You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
