I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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