some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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