I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
