Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize