sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just cut my nipple shaving
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
