Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
50% drunk capacity currently
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
