Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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