There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
