Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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