butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize