i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
