There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
