Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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