Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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