he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize