well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
