The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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