sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
