you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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