It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
how drunk are you?
Several
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
