Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
