Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
