its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
