I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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