Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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