How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
