you would pick up someone in the library
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
