A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
