She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
