i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize