sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
