To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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