I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
