I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
