the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
